Alone or lonely ?

Most of the times when we listen to the two words we tend to equate them to one and the same.

In actual, they are different and we need to understand why they are different, how we get into such states what connects them and what ,if at all, we need to correct.

What do the terms actually state?

Alone- This signifies the person is not accompanied by others, either at his own will or after being left out or excluded from his social group. This might be a temporary state or it might be a permanent state of a person.

Loneliness- It's a feeling, a state of mind. In this case people start feeling sad. Feeling of loneliness might continue throughout the life or in patches ,maybe almost everyday in some situations or the other.

                                              

                                                How do we get into such states?

                                                                          Alone                                                                                 

You can be alone at your will. It's important to understand the fact that it's not necessary to be always with a group of people or friends to be happy or successful. Many-a-times we need to be alone maybe when we are searching for some side of us which we're not able to explore while we're with those so-assumed loved ones. You can be alone generally in the following circumstances:

1. You are hitting hard towards some set goals that you are not getting time to socialize much.

2. There is a conflict between the self you're at currently and the self you would have always liked to become and you start running towards that self.

3.You are stuck amidst people who can't understand you or who you can't understand and you have to get out.

4.People exclude you from their groups or you are not able to mix into any group.

5.You might feel that you should live alone without any external disturbances to your inner peace , for instance Sadhus .

6.You grow up with certain group of people and friends and while growing up you acquire philosophies that are much different from people out there and with time you find people around you same without a change while there has been a tremendous change in your attitude towards life. So, even while you like those people you are left alone to resonate with your thoughts.

We can see that in certain cases we choose to be alone(e.g-1,2,5) while in certain cases we're forced to be alone due to a lot of mismatches in thoughts(e.g-3,4,6). 

                                                              

                                                                            Lonely-                                                                            

Loneliness is a state of mind when exclusion ,rejection ,non-acceptance, sudden losses and relative comparisons overly consume your thoughts and continuously make you feel sad and wanting. You feel that you might be cured of loneliness by being with people but that doesn't help as loneliness is not about being alone it's about continuous negative thoughts and sometimes preposterous assumptions and fears that make you feel the way you do so. There are many reasons, most common being-

1. Exclusion from groups like from friends or employee circle, bullying, etc. 

2. Rejections like in cases of proposals(maybe love or continuous marriage proposals)

3. Untimely demise of your loved ones.

4. When you are forced to be alone, it may lead to loneliness.

5. Not being able to match up with your friends or groups on social media i.e. creating unnecessary        thoughts and getting sad when not able to show happy faces on social sites just as your friends might be posing or they might be reaching some milestones which you are not being able to.

6. When close people are good at your face while bad mouth you behind your back and you come to know about it you might start feeling lonely.

7. If you are over or under regulated such that in first case there is no control over your own decisions or in the other case there is no norm to follow and people don't know where to go what to do who to approach and in the fast paced world many might be left to be lonely by themselves.

Loneliness is a poor state to be and it may further lead to poor output in anything that you do which might have cumulative effects and such things if get chronic, may lead to depression. so, it's very important to deal with loneliness right at the start so that we're in a good thought process and hence healthy mind. 

But, the best part about loneliness is that it is mostly based out of very trivial matters and it can be countered easily if it's in the beginning stage.

Sometimes we can be both alone and lonely at the same time which generally happens when you are forced to be alone.

Please find out what you are and see how you can correct yourself in case of loneliness about which I've another article.